The Power of Proximity

Recently, my good friend and colleague, Matt Visser, posted about the power of proximity when it comes to being present with those around us who are experiencing emotional and/or physical pain. He shared his reflections in light of the fires that occurred in Southern California, as well as the broader upheaval happening in the world.

He posed the following question to himself:

"As someone in a community and in relationships with others, how can I possibly respond in a meaningful way and move toward engagement rather than a flight or freeze reaction? When faced with uncertainty, how do I discern the next right thing?"

I believe this is a relevant question for us to reflect on and answer, especially as leaders in the current context we find ourselves in.

This question reminded me of a time when I supported someone in pain. A close friend of mine was watching his young child die before his eyes, with no cure available for the disease that afflicted him. I knew I needed to show up and be present—not to offer advice or solutions, but simply to be there and listen as he grieved. That experience had a lasting impact on me and continues to shape how I show up as both a person and a leader.

The fires in Southern California have created challenges for so many people in different ways. The election’s impact on me, my colleagues, and my friends—especially those working to build inclusive organizations or in federal government positions who now fear losing their jobs or being unable to provide for their families—has been profound. The fear present in the immigrant community has once again crystallized for me the importance of simply being present with people. Not to solve or give advice, but to listen to their stories with the intent to understand, rather than to convince—an essential aspect of cultural humility.

Knowing people’s stories, sharing in their experiences, and grieving with them helps me become the exceptional leader I aspire to be. More than that, it helps me be a good friend—someone who can sit with discomfort and ambiguity. The reality is that we may not always have the answers, but by showing up for people, we can become better listeners and stronger advocates for the changes needed to create the sense of belonging we seek in our families, friendships, organizations, and communities.